Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The first time I opened this book about three years ago, I thought: "RE--tarded!"

The short, simple chapters; the lack of style and nuance; the simplicity of it threw me off.

But I came back to it time and again. First for the many powerful quotes that support the concepts and the examples.

Then I came back for the (new to me then, now an accepted part of my philosophy) new idea that we are much more violent with our thoughts and actions than is commonly perceived.

And finally, I was called back again and again for the formula and descriptions of how to use it. OFNR. "Oftener" works as a mnemonic for me, sometimes. OFNR stands for Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests. It is a formula for listening and for speaking and a way to learn how to avoid aggressive, demanding and yes, violent expressions that do not say what we mean them to say.

The link is above to a very nice 100 synopsis paper that includes much of what the author discusses.

Please have a look and post a thought. Nobody expects expertise. But enthusiasm and curiosity help all of us!


Douglas Douglas